Book Review - A Complaint Free World
I recently read a new book called A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen. This book is all about bringing awareness to how much we complain, how much complaining affects our energy and attitude, and the energy we put out into the world.
Here is my full book review and recap of A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen
The 21 Day No Complaints Challenge
At the beginning of the book, the author starts off by talking about his bracelet program. He explains that you begin the process by wearing a bracelet on one wrist. When you catch yourself complaining, transfer the bracelet to your other wrist and see how often this happens. The goal is to go 21 days straight without complaining. To be honest, I thought I would never be able to last 21 days. It was an interesting way to test how often we are actually complaining!
The Law of Attraction
When we put out negative energy, we also receive it in return. We are only putting out negative energy into the world. However, when we put positive energy out into the world, we receive positive energy and feelings back. Bowen explains the idea of operating in conscious versus unconscious and competence versus incompetence. When we are not aware of our mindset and the quality of our thoughts, words, and actions are negative, we are operating under an unconscious, incompetent complaining mentality.
But good news! In this state, you are a blank slate, and open to endless possibilities of growth - which I think is very exciting.
He gives this relevant example of when you “cry ouch,” you’ll continue to find the hurt. Meaning, if you complain, you will find more to complain about. If you’re a positive person and you interacting with someone who complains frequently, how do you feel afterward? Do you want to continue hanging out with them? Probably not. Similarly, if you’re often the one complaining, it can be annoying to be around someone who is constantly positive. Positivity attacks positivity and complaining attracts complaining. If we are putting out garbage into the universe, we will get garbage back. This is foundation of the Law of Attraction.
What is Complaining And Why Do We Do It?
To complain means to express grief, anger, or disappointment, and most of us don’t realize how much complaining we do. We complain to get sympathy, attention, approval, and to avoid stepping up to something worth doing, or to avoid something we don’t want to do. The next time you find yourself complaining, dig into why you are complaining. How are you benefiting from this particular complaint?
When you complain, you are moving away from what you actually want. I love the example he uses of a women’s support group his mother used to be a part of and how they were often complaining about men. In actuality though, many of the women weren’t able to sustain a happy, healthy relationship with men, likely because they were always complaining about interactions they had with them and focusing on the negative.
Poor health is one of the most common things that people complain about.
It gives people sympathy and an excuse for why things are the way they are and why they do certain actions. Can you believe that doctors estimate nearly 2/3 of the patients with illnesses have psychological origins? This shows that there is a significant psychosomatic connection between the mind and the body. What the mind believes, the body manifests. What a person believes about their health leads to that becoming real for them.
Next time you find yourself talking about your ailments, reflect on what your motivations are? Bowen says when we do this we are either trying to get sympathy or attention. Which one is it for you?
Complaining = Bragging
Kind of a reverse bragging in a way. When you complain, you reduce your self-worth because you are saying you don’t deserve what you’re complaining about. This is similar to when people are trying to complain about their health problems and each person is trying to complain “harder” or indicate they have it worse off. What you’re really doing is identifying yourself as a victim and victims are never winners.
Explaining Is Not Complaining
And stating facts is not complaining. But there is a fine line between stating facts and whining about something not going the way you want it to. This is a great practice in awareness as well. Are you stating a fact or are you complaining? There is a subtle but massive difference.
Look At Problems As Opportunity
Bowen points out that during Peace Talks leaders will completely focus on positivity. They never address the question of how will we get there because there will always be disagreements and complaints about various methods. The purpose is to identify and gain clarity on the positive goal and then each national goes back to implement it in their respective countries. If national leaders focused on the problems, they would be lost in arguments and peace would never come.
Opportunity To Learn
Similarly, when something good happens to us we think, “Of course!” If something bad happens, we feel pity for ourselves. Instead, try switching your mindset into how can you learn from this? Seeing it as an opportunity to learn, to pivot, to readjust your thinking instead of seeing it as a failure. I’ve learned to do this within my business as well. For a long time, I would get really down when something didn’t work, if I didn’t get a particular client, or if a marketing effort didn’t pan out. I’ve been working to shift my interpretation of these events to a learning experience and process of elimination instead of assuming I am failing or a failure. It’s helping me progress so much more and my mental health and outlook on life are so much better because of it.
Remember, the more positive things and gratitude we focus on, the more positivity we will see. If you change your words you will change your life.
Overall
Overall I found this book very uplifting, motivating, and inspiring. It has made me much more aware of my words, thoughts, and intentions. I have noticed that the more I stop complaining the more I am able to notice and feel much more gratitude for all the positive things that come into my life. Our words are powerful and they really can establish what kind of life we have. We have the power to choose what we focus on, what we manifest, and what we bring into our lives. If you’re interested in another motivational book interview, check out this post about creating your best year yet.
This blog is part of our Organizing Blog Collab with Mello Spaces, Organize By Flo, and Sustainable Lifestyle Solutions.
Melanie McConnell is a Professional Organizer and the owner of Mello Spaces. She helps busy professionals and parents get the organized home of their dreams. Check out her website www.mellospaces.com and follow her on Instagram: @mellospaces
Florena Davies is a Professional Organizer and Owner of Organize by Flo. She uses her experience as a wife and mother of 2 to create real life organizational systems and changes for work and home that allow our 2 worlds to co-exist and 'Flo" together. Check out her website at https://www.organizebyflo.com/ and on instagram @organizebyflo.
Marybeth Welty is a Professional Organizer, Interior Designer, and Mindful Living Coach, and is the owner of Sustainable Lifestyle Solutions. She helps her clients create a calm, organized, and sustainable home and the life of their dreams by utilizing refined design principles, organizing best practices, mental wellness strategies, and a holistic lifestyle approach to sustainability. You can connect with her at Sustainable Lifestyle Solutions and on Instagram at @this_sustainable_lifestyle.